Menopause at 3 am

It is 3 am sitting with my cat feeling hungry, angry, itchy, flushed, wired, tired and fired up with ideas. I crawled into bed before 11 pm and fell asleep after reading two words from a book (about menopause). Then by 1.30 am I was hot flushing, itching, tossing and turning, throwing the covers off, then feeling a dead chill snuggling under the duvet. As I turn to get comfy I am confronted by my cat’s paw which feels as if he is trying to comfort me, but knowing him better he is probably saying , ‘You’re in my space.’

Cheeky, this is my bed thank you. Oh, not only my bed as I am also reminded by my partner’s vibrato snore, which indicates a deep, blissful sleep, which I am not having right now and instead I am writing this blog.

Rant over. Menopause does not seem to be getting to the post menopausal stage any time soon. I started the process at around 43 years old. Heavier periods, more mood swings (was that even possible as my Pre-menstrual symptoms were crazy, actually they made me act crazy, feel crazy, be crazy). I floated through that time in a hormonal haze (rage) with lack of sleep, wired and tired with the demands of teenagers,  working full-time and partner in tow.

I witnessed my older female colleagues looking hot and flustered asking,
‘Is the heating on? It is so hot in here’, wearing a vest top in winter, whilst I wore my woolly jumpers and mittens. I remember thinking I would definitely not be like that. How could I be I was always cold?

Ha! Just for that thought alone I am sure I am being punished, for I have been having hot flushes for the past five years and they do not seem to be going. I read that if you have a full 12 months of stopping your periods you are post menopausal and the uncomfortable symptoms, including hot flushes should stop. It has been three years and instead of lessening they are worse.

Ok, this is where many will give their tried and tested remedies and advice. Thank you very much but unfortunately I cannot or will not take anything as I had Breast cancer four years ago, and worry that HRT and other medication, alternatives etc will affect my hormones. I can’t even drink camomile tea as being menopausal has made me sensitive to many weird and wonderful things, camomile included.

So what do I do?

  •  Wear layers (whipping of coat, hoody, tea- shirt being in a vest like my colleagues of old, to soon pile them back on after 5 minutes shivering from hypothermia
  •  Drink lots of water and green tea which makes me more hyper but at least I am hydrated, which makes me run to the loo more often (yes another symptom being incontinent, so practicing my pelvic floor exercises)
  •  Meditate, well more like closing my eyes and getting some rest for 20 minutes
  •  Walk in nature, talking and walking which is a type of meditation even if I do look like a crazy woman talking to herself
  • And writing, which is my saving grace. It helps me to get it all out to talk to myself, my body, to connect with my emotions which are all over the place and find some peace…until the next hot flush.

#menopause #hot flushes #writing #meditate #women #hormones

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